The Exvangelicals

The Introduction acquaints the reader with the term "exvangelical." McCammon uses this term to refer to those who have decided to leave the evangelical church. She notes that it is a loose term and that no two exvangelicals are the same. McCammon argues that in the past many were leaving the church due to the church's failure to embrace the LGBTQ community, or over ideas that just didn't hold when confronted with reality. Today, more are leaving due to what appears to be the church's embrace of Donald Trump and the MAGA movement.

Chapter 1 deals with McCammon's upbringing. She details the intense pressure to evangelize and fear of eternal damnation. This damnation could await anyone who did not accept Jesus Christ as their savior. As a child, McCammon struggled to understand this, and even when she did accept Jesus, she feared that she did not do the prayer just right. McCammon also fears for her grandfather's soul. He does not attend her church, and we later learn that he is gay, the main reason that her family now has very little to do with him.

Chapter 2 of "The Exvangelicals" begins by examining McCammon's parents. They joined the evangelical church at a time when many others were finding appeal in evangelicalism. The chapter notes some of the major forces in 1970s (and later) evangelicalism, including Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell, and, most notably, James Dobson. Dobson founded Focus on the Family ministries, and McCammon recalls how prevalent Dobson's radio shows and magazines were in her childhood. The disciplinary tactics that Dobson encouraged were also used in McCammon's household. The title of this chapter is "A 'Parallel Universe'", which McCammon uses to describe the fact that all of the media she ingested, as well as the textbooks in her school were designed to create a very safe, insular world in which one lived and breathed evangelicalism. This theme of living a reality somewhat apart from mainstream culture is one that McCammon returns to throughout the book.

Brief PBS interview with Sarah McCammon on her book:
Sarah McCammon interview - click here

Chapter 3 is titled "An Exodus." In this chapter, McCammon focuses on why more and more people have begun to leave the evangelical church. She tells much of this story through the person of Promise Enlow Councill. Enlow Councill is the daughter of self-described "prophet to Hollywood" and prominent evangelical leader Johnny Enlow. Promise notes some of the divergent beliefs she had with her father, but the "major catalyst" for her break with her father was the full throated support he and his church offered to Donald Trump. Promise could not understand why she had been encouraged to live as an upright and moral Christian woman, only to have her father support a man who was and said things that were completely antithetical to this.

While Chapter 3 deals with the unraveling of others' faith, Chapter 4 pertains to McCammon's own. In this chapter, McCammon focuses in large part on when McCammon was nearly 17 and spent a semester interning as a Senate page in Washington, D.C. This experience felt like the crashing together of two worlds: McCammon's insulated evangelical life interacting with her fellow teenagers' who were not evangelical. McCammon recalls feeling isolated as she overheard stories about parties, alcohol, and sex. But, even more benignly, she did not even know the music that they talked about or listened to. The chapter culminates with her having a conversation with one of these teenagers. He was a boy named Sina who McCammon particularly liked. Sina asked McCammon if, because he was not Christian, she thought he was going to hell. McCammon gives a rather diplomatic answer, but notes that in that moment "everything that felt wrong about the belief system I'd been told to promote crystallized in my mind."

In Chapter 5, McCammon devotes much of the discussion to her schooling. She notes the numerous textbooks they would read that overtly promoted a very evangelical Christian idea of America and its history. Additionally, she discusses how her textbooks and conversations around science were woefully inaccurate, much of it promoting fundamentalist beliefs of earth and humans. She talks about going to museums as a kid and having her parents shrug off or call a deception the idea that humans had evolved over millions of years. McCammon states that she felt it odd that in these settings they seemed to be the only people who believed these things.

Interview on WBUR on "The Great Dechurching." Interview deals with trends in many Christian denominations, with some interesting thoughts offered on evangelicalism.
WBUR interview - click here

Chapter 6 is appropriately titled "Alternative Facts." McCammon begins by recalling the books she read as a child by prominent evangelicals. These books were put forward to offer a Christian worldview, the only worldview offering a "clear window on reality." The alternative facts in this worldview sounded familiar to McCammon when, in January 2017, the Trump administration began offering "alternative facts" regarding the crowd size at his inauguration. McCammon goes on to talk about the alternative ecosystem that has fueled this rise in the blurring of truth; ecosystems that claim government, academic, science, and the media to be corrupt. She mentions in particular Rush Limbaugh, antivaxers, and the QAnon conspiracy.

Chapter 7 continues with McCammon's exploration of evangelicalism in public life. She begins it by recalling Bill Clinton's scandal with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. She describes the outrage that poured in from prominent evangelicals, people like Franklin Graham, James Dobson, and Gary Bauer. These people advocated for everything up to and including removing the president. McCammon compares this to the lack of outrage Donald Trump receives from evangelical leaders for qualities that they once stated were a nonstarter for a president. She notes this lack of outrage is due to the fact that those in the evangelical church see Donald Trump as a useful tool to get what they want. Because of this, they are willing to look the other way.

McCammon discusses the "Leave Loud" asking Black evangelicals to "vote with their feed and share their departures publicly" on social media using the hashtag #LeaveLoud. McCammon discusses the many ways in which the evangelical church has failed to address the desires and concerns of their Black congregants, not for a lack of lip service, though. She notes the countless examples, from Rodney King up through George Floyd, in which White evangelicals have appeared to say the right thing, only to fail to do the hard work of systemic change.

New York Times article "Black, Evangelical, and Torn."
Black Evangelical and Torn - click here

Chapter 9, "Whom Does Jesus Love," begins with a vignette of Daniel, a classmate of McCammon's. Daniel was raised in an evangelical home, and he recalls the feeling of absolute dread when he discovered that he was gay. He almost threw up at the dinner table, because he knew how negatively this would be viewed by his family and entire community. McCammon also remembers the day that her mother told her that her grandfather was gay and how that played a large part in why she wasn't able to see him very often. The chapter concludes with the stories of many exvangelicals who have left the church because of how their sexual orientation was viewed negatively. Some of these have joined other congregations, some have left faith entirely, some still maintain strained relations with their parents, and some have severed all ties.

Chapter 10 details purity culture for women in the evangelical church. A prominent evangelical that McCammon focuses on is Joshua Harris, author of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". This book, as McCammon states, became "the most emblamatic text of teh evangelical purity movement." In the time since, many exvangelical women have stated how much harm what it puts forward has done to them. The book, and the purity movement in general essentially state that a woman is to "be modest, be pure, and wait for a godly man to pursue you." Much of this culture is McCammon retelling her experiences from late high school and college of supressing her desire to have sex, masturbate, or address in any way her sexual urges. She recounts how the other girls at her college similarly struggled with this. She notes that the goal of many was to get married at the end or shortly after college so that these desires could be met.

Chapter 11, "Naked and Ashamed," is the natural conclusion of what is told in Chapter 10. McCammon begins the chapter by naming a few evangelical books that glowingly describe marriage (being with your soulmate, children, great sex). In reality, however, this is not the case for many, including McCammon. She describes that early in their marriage, she and her husband were still trying to get to know each other and that this was a terrible way to also start exploring sex. She describes many exvangelicals who had similar experiences. Many of these exvangelicals' marriages ended in divorce. McCammon was no differnt. She notes the many good things that came from her marriage (including her children), but in the end, she just rushed into a marriage with the wrong person.

Sojourner's interview with Joshua Harris: "Questioning Faith After Purity Culture"
Questioning Faith After Purity Culture - click here

In Chapter 12, McCammon begins with a story from her childhood in which her mom picks her up from school. McCammon excitedly tells her mom that a friend of hers had mentioned that her mother had gotten a job as a teacher when her children were grown. To McCammon, this was exciting as it was proof that she too could have a job some day. Her mother, not nearly as thrilled, states that she still thinks it best "for a mom to be at home." Indeed, this is the expectation that McCammon lays out of evangelical girls. They are to be good mothers, wives, and tend to domestic chores. College was just a way to get a marketable skill, should it ever be needed. McCammon goes on to tell of her time as a teenager volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center. In this role, she would try to disuade expecting mothers from getting an abortion. The chapter concludes with McCammon stating what she wishes she could have told her younger self. Specifically, that no decision to abort a fetus is taken lightly and that you cannot know the circumstances that have led many of these people to this place.

One of the major players in Chapter 13 is James Dobson, the evangelical leader who wrote "Dare to Discipline," which was a guide on Christian parenting. Dobson wanted parenting to be rooted in Scripture. The Proverbs' admonition that "whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them" figures prominently into Dobson's guidance. Of course, most evangelical parents would condemn child abuse, but what so many exvangelicals will say is that this type of discipline is indeed abuse. McCammon herself even notes that the act of being spanked, as a child, also fostered in her feelings of sexual arousal. She remembers the feelings she had of both excitement and self-loathing. The chapter concludes with the author Bekah McNeel, also an exvangelical, stating her stance on this topic now: "Parents are a child's first God-like presence. How we treat them is how they will assume God treats them."

Chapter 14 addresses the trauma that exvangelicals are left with. The chapter begins with Bethany, an exvangelical, recalling a day coming home from middle school. She walked into the house and saw her mother's clothes laid out perfectly. Her mother's socks were even in her shoes. It was as if her mother had been standing there and then vanished. In reality, this was a test to see how Bethany would respond. Her mother was attempting to make Bethany think the Rapture had occured. If Bethany were scared (naturally), this would mean that Bethany had some sins that needed to be addressed before the real Rapture happened. Bethany notes that she still deals with the emotional scars from experiences like these. McCammon talks with Dr. Marlene Winell, a psychologist and exvangelical, who helps to treat religious trauma. Winell states that religious trauma is "different from other traumas because it's institutionalized...environmentally, it's completely different from other traumas." She goes on to note that evangelicalism's emphasis on Hell and inborn sin leaves children with two essential messages: "you are not okay and you are not safe."

Dr. Marlene Winell (Chapter 14) began the organization Journey Free to help those struggling with religious trauma. Below is a link to her site.
Journey Free - click here

Chapter 15 is titled "Into the Wilderness." The wilderness is what much of life after the evangelical church feels like. White evangelicalism shapes everything from who someone interacts with to the way they dress. Once these structures are taken away, many feel quite adrift. This chapter highlights the chasm that exists between those who leave and the evangelical leaders. While those who leave essentially say it boils down to just not being able to believe in the things they had been told, evangelical leaders shout that these are irrational, knee-jerk decisions, and that most are only doing this because "deconstruction" is now the cool thing to do. Many give thanks for the communities they find online as, sadly, relationships with family are often strained or completedly severed.

This severing of blood ties is not all that surprising when one reads Chapter 16. McCammon begins it with this sentence: "To be an American evangelical is to be often at war - a Christian soldier, moving ever onward into an invisible battle with the highest possible stakes." When one considers many evangelicals believe nothing less that one's or one's family's salvation to be on the line, then it is possible to see why they would fight so hard to keep others in the fold and make examples of those who leave. McCammon brings up the author Rachel Held Evans, an exvangelical who wrote beautifully about her time searching after leaving the evangelical church. Her books became quite popular, which drew the ire of many in the evangelical community. When she suddenly passed away at 37, her passing was met with cruel comments stating that it was God's judgment on her. The stories that McCammon relates in this chapter illustrate that comments like these, while horrendous, are not atypical for those who have decided to leave.

The final chapter, "Into All the World," addresses this leaving of the evangelical church on a more personal level. McCammon writes at length about her grandfather near the end of his life. She also notes an interview she had with her grandfather from her college days. In it, her grandfather states that helping others "is the one thing that brings the most meaning and satisfaction to existence. I think we are here to help our fellow man." McCammon concludes the book with a beautiful paragraph on her acceptance of where she is, stating: "I like everyone else, was somehow born naked into this world, knowing nothing, a tiny bundle of flesh and blood and bones pulsating with needs and desires - and that someday if I'm very fortunate, I will be lying in a quiet, sunlit room, in a withering body, holding the hand of my grandchild, gently fading away."

In Chapter 17, McCammon mentions an interesting church in Nashville, Tennessee, that has an evangelical feel but a very progressive theology. The church is named Grace Pointe, and the link to it is below.
Grace Pointe Church - click here